Once upon a time, the gods of wedding etiquette declared that any assumption of gift-giving is a major faux pas.

But, like, we’re getting married on a computer screen. Conventions be damned! So we’re just gonna come out and say that you probably clicked on this page because you’d like to send us a wedding gift. We’ve thought a lot about that, too, and have carefully considered our approach to wedding gifts — which is to cancel them. Gifts are over. Our registry has been deleted. Your virtual presence at our wedding (and your support of our unconditional, etiquette-breaching #realtalk) is enough. We’re all here! And healthy! And alive! If there is anything this dumb pandemic has taught us, it’s how grateful we are for those basic things.

If you are old-school and insist on giving something, we encourage you to donate to these causes close to our hearts:

• The Food Bank For New York City. Every time Elisa thinks about how in the midst of the pandemic, 49% of her fellow New Yorkers are worried about putting food on the table, her heart breaks into a million pieces.

• Everytown for Gun Safety. In a future where we have a vaccine, 38,000 people will still die every year as a result of gun violence. Peter supports a common-sense approach to America’s gun problem.

And if you’re really old-school and won’t be able to sleep at night without giving us a physical gift, you can make a small donation to our we-wanna-buy-a-house-someday Newlywed Fund. But seriously, keep it small. Remember, we’re literally not wine or dining you here. And it’s our wedding so you have to do everything we say.

Love,

Elisa & Peter